First, I would like to say how humorous it was to click on your page and then have a pop up box saying, "Would you like to continue? This page may have content only suitable for adults?" Haha. Forreal?? Anyways... Back to this peer review...
This short story is awesome. So, make some more drafts-- perfect it. Then, when the time comes, submit it to the Eclectic. Forreal. My favorite characteristics of the story are the harsh elements you used throughout the context of your story. For example, ESKIMO KISSES. Thatis soooo creepy, but awesome. Needless to say, when I read your story I do get that "shock factor" in it as well. I am glad you cleaned up the first paragraph from the first draft that I saw about the communicating. I do believe you fleshed out your idea, and now it is more clear.
The end of your story would have to be my favorite part when the character says, "Eskimo Kisses." Creepy. And the reader knows what is exactly about to happen. Wow. Awesome. Keep up the great work, Josh!
Thanks Whitney, I really appreciate the encouragement! Haha yea, I decided to put the little warning up on the chance some children, or easily offended people, stumbled on my blog and were scarred for life as a result of viewing my nonsense.
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