Random Impulse

  Plan A (Part II)         

I woke up in the ER at Tanner Medical Center with my coach hanging over my bed while my dad paced back and forth murmuring, “That’s the end of the season for her. How could this happen?”

       I knew exactly what he meant. There went my chance to be scouted to play at a college somewhere in Georgia. It had been my dream since third grade. My Plan A. Days of practice and sweat, and hours of endless drills out in my driveway were now pointless. I knew I would never get into a division one school to play; however, I figured I might have a chance at one of those smaller schools where the majority of the players were white, blonde, and girly—like me. My mind kept lingering through the thoughts of where my life would lead me now. If basketball was my life and I lost it… Then what next?

       As I came to my senses, I felt… No pain? Where was the pain? My shoulder was falling off and now it didn’t hurt anymore? This can’t be possible.

      The doctor walked in and asked, “Ms. Johnson, would you like another shot of morphine?

      “Yes, please.” I was quite pleased with the feeling I had now. Imagine how I would feel if I had more. I lay still as I got another dose of morphine shot into my i.v.

      The doctor then proceeded with the next procedure, “Okay Ms. Johnson, we must get this shoulder back into place. What I’m gonna do is pop your shoulder back together on the count of three. You shouldn’t feel a thing. Ready?”

      “I guess.”

      “One, two…”

      “Aghhhhhhhhhhhhh!” And my shoulder was back in its place.

      I winced with tears and could feel my body getting hot from the morphine running through my veins. My teammates walked in and looked around the room before they took notice to me.

      One girl sat down by my bed and asked, “How are you feeling?”

      “Like I am on cloud 957. Forreal.”

      There was a scream from a guy in the room beside me. Our eyes got big.

      “Oh, don’t worry,” the doctor said, “the guy next door busted a vein in a wrestling match while ago. He is in just as much pain as you.”

      “I bet he didn’t have fat ass fall on his shoulder,” One girl added.

      “Yeah, he’s just a pussy compared to what I went through!”

      Everyone laughed at the joke I had just made. At least it drowned out the screaming from next door.

      There was so much chaos in my ER room that the doctor made everyone go wait in the lobby. I finally got some peace and quiet. The morphine was making me drowsy which made it extremely painful to try and keep my eyes open.

      “Ms. Johnson,” the doctor turned to grab my chart, “we seem to be having a few minor issues here that will cause your playing to be set back a little. By the looks of—“

      “Set back?! What do you mean set back? It’s only December and it was just a tournament. It’s not even like this game actually mattered. If you are tellin’ me I can’t play anymore then I’m sorry, I must play. This is my life and what I have planned for the rest of my career. I don’t expect to watch from the sideline, I will be on the court.”

      “Now, Now Ms. Johnson… You have torn a ligament in your shoulder which makes it weak. It is not worth being injured for the rest of your life now is it?”

      “Of course it is, this is what I plan on doing for the rest of my life. I have no other options,” my tone became weak and harsh. The morphine was really getting to me.

      I felt a tear of remorse and pity falling down my face. It raced over my cheek, through the corner of my lip, and over my chin. Then it fell off of my face into my lap. It was gone. Gone.

      Gone.

      Done.

      Finished.

      My dad’s hand found its way to my shoulder for comfort. My mother sat in the doctor’s chair to my side and wiped her own tears away.

      For once in my life, I felt empty and clueless. My future was wiped away in less than five seconds. My future was gone in the blink of an eye by doing what I love the most. I had no second plan, no Plan B. It was always Plan A. No back-ups. If I stuck to Plan A then I would not need a Plan B, C, or even D. I’ve never heard of anyone using their Plan D anyways. If I was going to start over then I would need a new plan.

      I lay back in the hospital bed, my eyes heavy from the morphine. They closed shut as my mind wondered into my next scheme of plans. Slowly, I fell asleep and started at Plan Z and worked my way backwards.