Response

Frills and Hairballs

by: David Mathis

A curtsy and a soft, warm smile

Framed by golden curls, wispy,

Blowing in a breeze that was cool,

Refreshing even. A sip of tea.

The tea was hot, steaming in its cup.

Soft, padded hands grasped the handle

delicately. Daintily. Pink Dress pressed

with care and a ribbon, faded but new.

She brushed some stray hair from her

Tufted ears. She soothed her tea, calming

And cooling it with gusts of wind from

Her snout. Blackened lips smiled sweetly.

Her legs, crossed, covered in long, golden

Hair. Her tail wrapped around four spindly

Metal legs of a stool. She playfully batted

A stirring spoon with careful claws.

As clouds enfolded the shining sky, she

Gently grabbed an umbrella-- a tastefully

Layered, iced cake-- pink, white, pink.

Slight frame protected from rain, she walked.

Silence between bird calls, soothing shushing

Of raindrops lulled her and cradled her as she

took small, careful steps. Umbrella held just so,

she took the path that wound eventually home.

 

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I love the "kitty" language of the poem. Cats have a certain presence that they present to their humans... So sly and "cool" as they walk, which I really grasp from this poem. Also, I enjoyed it because it seemed as if the cat had a mind of it's own (which they do), but I totally understand what David is trying to do here. this poem is also different at the same time, such as the cake, slightly random, BUT it works. Some improvements-- i got the sense that the cat was "home" already, perhaps I am misinterpreting the poem. there is a lot of the word "her" in the poem- I would suggest developing a new lingering descriptive of the cat that would suggest it was "her". Great job though. Snaps for you!